Accepting Baby Steps

Whew!! What a crazy few months it's been!  In the past several months we have moved, had 2 birthday parties, started a new job (hubby), gone on a way-overdue vacation and survived morning sickness with baby #4! Its almost gone, I can feel it! Or maybe I'm just being optimistic because I am soooo ready to get back to shooting!

This is a shot I was so excited to capture! The Lego Statues at Downtown Disney
fascinated me! And apparently the squirrels too!

The lighting on it was tricky though, because I was actually standing under an awning, and the
sun was on the other side of the statue. The first time I shot it, you couldn't see the squirrels at
all for the blow out of light around them. After adjusting for that using all that
I've learned so far ;) I shot this one. Seriously, if I can do it, SO CAN YOU!

In effort to shoot as many new pictures as I can (the more I shoot, the more I learn!) I have decided to create a new goal for myself: From now on, ALL the illustrations on my blog will be using MY OWN pictures! I hope to get creative and shoot some really artistic photos to use for this purpose :) I think my baby sister can help with this too, and it will be great fun working with her on it! Since I not only use this blog to showcase my portrait photography and blog about those stories as well as stories about my own life, I want to tie it all together with the one over-arching theme that seems to cross over into everything I do: Art. I love ALL Art: from paintings to photographs, music, dance, and theatre - it all fascinates me. It always has. This seems to be a common bond for many of us on a universal level. So this will be the common thread I hope you see throughout all the posts, both the professional and personal ones :)

On that note, I am getting really excited, and honestly humbled, by the direction my photography is taking. In December last year I wrote a post about desperately trying to hear God, and what He's calling me to do in life. I felt unfulfilled because I had not found that yet, and I was aching to be in the middle of His will. Some of you may relate to this, others may not. But I think all of us, regardless of beliefs, desire to feel a sense of accomplishment. When we do something we love, we feel it with our entire being, and we effect others in a positive way. When we don't, we dread every second of it and effect others in a negative way.

So I began searching for what my calling might be. I felt so lost because my passions lead in so many different directions. However, little did I realize that God was going to lead me there! It was just going to take a series of tiny little baby steps.  Now, as I look back at just the past 10 months, I can see God's fingerprints on everything that has happened! Which only makes me SOOOO excited about the steps to come. But let me back up and explain:

• The update on that post mentions about how in the short months between the original post and the updates, I met so many photographers willing and excited to help me and I had learned so much it was overwhelming (in a very good way!)
• One of those photographers took me on as a mentor and walked me through so much! She even invited me to help her on a newborn shoot.
• One of the other photographers, a great friend from high-school I was able to reconnect with, has been an endless source of information, patiently answering all my questions and offering all the advice she can think of. Then SHE invited me to a family portrait session with her! It was such a great learning experience!!
• Then I started practicing on family and friends, and their response was greater than I ever expected coming from my first few "professional" shoots. (I've been shooting since I was 13, but never under the intention of doing it professionally until now.)
• Suddenly I had people asking me to book session after session! All in a matter of 8 or so months!! I honestly never dreamed of it going so well. The only thing I can say is that God has been behind it all. There is no other explanation. 
• Then I had the idea (out of "nowhere" ... ahem... so like God) to join forces with my good friend Santa Claus for a special portrait event. I was unsure if he would be able to attend though, seeing as he gets incredibly busy this time of year! However, he loved the idea and was willing to make room in his schedule to come down and join us! All I had to do was find a location to host us...
• Then, tada! It the idea for the perfect place to host Santa for portraits falls into my lap: Miss LaLa's Treehouse, now called The Arts @ West Cobb! They are all about ALL THE ARTS!!! How fitting!!! 

When I called them, they loved the idea! And so now, I have a great opportunity to join forces with a company who is not only willing to host us for Christmas but would also like to host us for a Halloween/Fall portrait session and see why else our paths might have Purposely crossed! I meet with her tomorrow so I will be sure to let you know the details we work out. But all I can say is that I could never have imagined all these baby steps were even possible, let alone that I would be walking them.

Why am I sharing all this with you??

We all have dreams. Some of you dream about photography like me! (I hope to "pay it forward" and help you as others have helped me! Email me for more info!) The rest of you long after a myriad of other dreams. One of my goals with this blog is to inspire you to dream them, and do whatever it takes to follow them. Even if it takes itty bitty almost invisible baby steps. You never know where you will be a year from now if you do. But if you never try, you'll never reach it. God plants those dreams in our hearts! He wants SO MUCH MORE FOR US than we can ever imagine! 

Faith Like a Child

This is one of my favorite songs ever, by Jars of Clay. I have been dying to use it as a title :) When I started putting together a montage for my portfolio of children's portraits, I knew I could finally use it!

These kids are A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!!!!! You might recognize them from the precious family shots of J & M's maternity portraits and newborn portraits. These are random shots I got during both of those sessions. They were perfect models, as you can see! They were not camera shy!! It made it sooo much fun!!! But more that how sweet and beautiful they are, they each already have a strong and precious faith. It shines in their eyes, you'll see. But that's what happens when we truly trust our lives to our Creator, an unexplainable peace and joy consume us, and it is evident to everyone. It's that "it" someone has that makes you realize they are different in such a good and enviable way. Enviable if you don't have it but they make you realize you want it. These kids got IT. Love'em!!

I loved how they enjoyed trying on all the hats at their mom's maternity portrait session! These were so fun!

Then they found ducks and were so excited!!!

They were just camera hams at baby sister's newborn portrait session. More to come :)

A Sad Birthday

Today is my due date. Or, it would have been my due date if I had carried to term. And it is hitting me harder than I thought it would.


This is an unexpected turn of events for me. I thought I had dealt with the pain, and received a beautiful gift of peace and assurance.  
Coping with miscarriage is never easy, but I believe I grew closer to my God and family through it. Then I thought I was done. Finished with the grief, at peace with the loss and ready to move on.

But the date June 19, 2010 loomed ahead, yet I was sure I would remain un-phased.


Now, here it is and I am feeling surprisingly shaky. I still know my baby Camryn is with God, waiting to be joined by the rest of us when our time comes. I know we will meet one day. I know it is not my fault. And I know there is nothing I could have done to prevent it. My head knows all of this. Still, my heart yearns for my baby.


I don't know why  I am writing about this. It is awful and painful and yucky. Still, I felt the need to share it with you. Maybe one day a hurting mother-to-have-been will stumble across it and find hope in the grief. It is a process, I am learning. One that we have to go through or we will never heal. It is OK to grieve.  Actually, it is healthier to grieve. But do so with hope.


Also, I really needed to acknowledge to the world that I have a baby in heaven, and that baby hasn't been forgotten. Though we miss having her here with us physically, the rest of the world has forgotten we had a 4th because they can't see her amongst our other children. But I always will. Especially on June 19th. So, today we will celebrate the brief time we got to share with her, and focus on the hope we have that we will meet her one day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Baby Camryn!!! We Love You 

and can't wait to meet you.

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