Baby Portraits Through New Eyes

I am always so honored and thrilled when I get invited into a family's home to take pictures of their precious children! It has been such an exciting time learning, practicing and building my portfolio! This was no exception!

I met this precious family at McDonald's a few weeks ago, and then we realized we attend the same church! Small world! They were so patient and kind with me while I figured out how to capture the best light, and I am so grateful! I left their house a bit concerned that I did not get many good shots. But again, just like my last maternity portrait session, after reviewing them later at home it was like I was seeing them with new eyes. Not perfect and much room for improvement, but better then I thought with my critical mind's eye. So I think the key for me is going to be allowing myself to see them with new eyes a little after the shoot.

New Eyes. It seems that's what I have now. I hate to interject this painful personal insight into such a happy photography experience, but it was so healing that I feel the need to share... It started with a comment my Aunt Renee said to me last week, that through all I've learned since my miscarriage, it's like God has given me New Eyes with which to photograph babies now. Now I see it's so true! Every little detail stands out to me so much more now, and this passion inside me burns deeply to try to capture their innocence, joy and love.

I hope I did that with this adorable baby. Baby B was wide awake and quite content! I love his cheeks and his bright eyes and.... well all of him!! I'm sure you will too!

S an K - hope you enjoy your preview, I loved every minute of shooting and editing these portraits for you! Thank you again for the opportunity to do these!  :D

A Sad Birthday

Today is my due date. Or, it would have been my due date if I had carried to term. And it is hitting me harder than I thought it would.


This is an unexpected turn of events for me. I thought I had dealt with the pain, and received a beautiful gift of peace and assurance.  
Coping with miscarriage is never easy, but I believe I grew closer to my God and family through it. Then I thought I was done. Finished with the grief, at peace with the loss and ready to move on.

But the date June 19, 2010 loomed ahead, yet I was sure I would remain un-phased.


Now, here it is and I am feeling surprisingly shaky. I still know my baby Camryn is with God, waiting to be joined by the rest of us when our time comes. I know we will meet one day. I know it is not my fault. And I know there is nothing I could have done to prevent it. My head knows all of this. Still, my heart yearns for my baby.


I don't know why  I am writing about this. It is awful and painful and yucky. Still, I felt the need to share it with you. Maybe one day a hurting mother-to-have-been will stumble across it and find hope in the grief. It is a process, I am learning. One that we have to go through or we will never heal. It is OK to grieve.  Actually, it is healthier to grieve. But do so with hope.


Also, I really needed to acknowledge to the world that I have a baby in heaven, and that baby hasn't been forgotten. Though we miss having her here with us physically, the rest of the world has forgotten we had a 4th because they can't see her amongst our other children. But I always will. Especially on June 19th. So, today we will celebrate the brief time we got to share with her, and focus on the hope we have that we will meet her one day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Baby Camryn!!! We Love You 

and can't wait to meet you.

.

.

.

.

Portfolio Building - AT LAST!!!..... Maternity Portraits

After studying for what feels like forever, I finally feel ready to begin my portfolio building! I have asked several friends to allow me to practice on them and was honored and thrilled to have some takers! In the first week I had two sessions already! One was for maternity portraits and the other for baby portraits. I'm so excited!

Here is the first session, my first maternity shoot. I learned so much just by actually shooting these pictures. Reading books and blogs can only do so much. I realized actually getting out there and shooting really is the best way to learn! In a previous post I wrote about conquering my fear; I was so nervous it almost kept me from doing this shoot. But I think the key was doing it despite the fear. My friend who is a photographer in Nashville told me that the more I shoot the more tricks I'll learn - and I see now why! Thank you  for your tips and encouragements Joy! When I looked through them after I got home I immediately noticed things I could have done and said differently to get better results, so I am so glad I went through with the shoot. On one hand I feel bad for my friend M that they aren't perfect like I wanted them to be, but I am grateful for the experience.

Thank you so much J & M for this opportunity! M, you are always beautiful and especially so when expecting! It was a joy to shoot these portraits, hope you enjoy them as much I enjoyed shooting them!

Cutting Grass and Conquering Fears

My youngest son, KT, loves to help. His favorite thing to help with is cutting the grass. One of the first phrases he said when he started talking was "Pawpaw cut grass?" He would say it as soon as he saw Pawpaw put on his straw hat... his grass-cutting hat! Then he would run and get his little lawn mower to help. He has continued this fascination now for almost 2 years!

So I was really excited when he sat still enough for me to shoot this picture! It truly captures a memorable moment. This is a shot I got one day when he was "taking a break" from helping Pawpaw. I loved how he was just looking out at the overgrown grass in the backyard. What was running through his little mind? He got quiet & pensive and just stared!  (Which if you know KT you know is RARE! The boy is hardly ever still!) But we attribute that to his passion. The boy is incredibly passionate, and he has no fear! He actually inspires me to act more on my passions.

For example, photography has long been a passion of mine, but fear has kept me from pursuing it. Fear also kept me from trying out for my high school musical and the school of music in college, but yay! Here I am years later finally pursuing a passion. Better late then never, huh?!  Yet, even now fear threatens to stop me: I had my first maternity portraits shoot this past Tuesday and boy was I ever nervous. My friend who was modeling was so patient and encouraging though so I was able to make it through the shoot. However, when I got home and viewed the pictures, I was disappointed in myself and the results I got.  They just didn't look how I pictured them in my head. I found myself thinking that maybe I should just stick to photographing my own kids and ditch this whole becoming-a-photographer thing.

But something has changed inside me... I want to keep going! A large part of that is the incredible amount of encouragement I am receiving from my sweet hubby and several great friends (one of whom IS a photographer!!). Another reason is that I see the whole world before my kids and I truly believe they can do anything God calls them to do, and would be heartbroken if they let fear stand in their way.  But how can I encourage them to conquer their fears & pursue their God-given passions if I don't do the same? So here I go... pushing through the fear. Soon you will see some of those maternity shots. I promise ; )